One of the most asked questions I come across on almost every platform is related to Confidence. I believe that most of our problems are solved if one has the self belief to face their fears.

We are now living a life where nothing is hidden to us anymore and simply googling your problem gets us 1000s and 1000s of doable solutions. But, what’s stopping us? Having the Confidence to be ourselves unapologetically.

I was a highly underconfident person. Let’s rephrase that, I was a highly underconfident & talented person, the talent part still exists *wink*. But it took me quite some time to live the way I wanted to live just cause my underconfidence was getting an upperhand over my talents.

Now I help people be comfortable in their own skin. That turned out well. Here’s what I learnt so far :


1. Stop Comparing :

This is one disease we all fall prey to – Comparisons. We look around and see people prettier than us, more successful than us, healthier than us, richer than us, happier than us and yada yada yada. Why not look in the mirror and admire yourself for once. Keep everyone else out of the picture.

We all have some special gifts, talents, qualities and if you look closer you’ll find some of them are unique. Stop envying the things that people show you. You don’t know their story. Most people do things just to look cool in front of people like us, and never acknowledge the truth. Trust me, admiring those kind of people will just make you do and be what you are not.

Love yourself and accept yourself. If there’s something you genuinely do not like about yourself, and I use genuinely cause that shouldn’t be something you force yourself to be after being influenced by people. If there’s something you truly want to change about yourself, then work for it. Simple.

2. Never Oversell Yourself :

Overselling yourself means showing off what you’re not. If you can’t sing yet tell people how amazing you sound, you’re automatically going to be less confident saying it. And very soon people will sense that lack of confidence and question your talents.

Just to be a part of a certain group or gang, do not commit more than you can give. Confident people have a certain charisma when they walk into the room, you know why? Cause they know who they are and why they’re there.

3. Dress Comfortably :

This is my number 1. Wearing what you love affects your mood and in turn boosts up your confidence by leaps and bounds. No matter what the occasion, please do not compromise on your comfort. I have seen so many girls wearing heels and short clothes, just for fashion and the fact that they’re not happy wearing it just shows bluntly on their face.

Make your own signature style. Be unique. In the beginning people might laugh at you, criticize you and call you out. But once they see how well you carry it, you’ll be known for your confidence, you’ll be known for standing out.

4. Stop Pleasing Everybody :

95% of the time we do things to please others. We all want people to like us, but what we really want them to do is accept us. If you are constantly doing what others want you to do, then how will you ever find that confidence within?

I was one of those people pleasers, I still am, but that was at the cost of my own happiness and mental peace. That’s not me anymore. If you don’t like something about me and that’s bad, then I’m all ears. I’m open to better myself. But if I am not of your type, then please don’t try to impose yourself on me.

5. Smile & Go with the Flow :

It takes a hell lot of time to figure yourself out. Understand that and be patient. You will make a ton of mistakes and you will eventually learn to live with them. Look at everything from a positive point of view as that is the best quality that every confident person has.

Things may seem hard at this given period of time, but I promise you it can and will only get better from here. If you had met me back in school, I was a totally different person. Shy and timid and scared. Not anymore. Times change.

With that being said, I hope and pray that you become at peace with yourself. It all starts from within. I acknowledged the fact that I was different than most people and that’s when the change began. I started to pay more and more attention to my likes and dislikes. I experimented with myself and did things, the mere thought of which made me uncomfortable.

Learning about yourself is a never ending process. You will be stunned to know how little you assumed and how different you actually act when faced with a situation. Keep on Self Auditing yourself and do what makes you happy first. Don’t make others unhappy, but if what gives you joy isn’t bothering anyone for real…Keep doing it!

That’s called Real Confidence ! What are you struggling with ?



“I Appreciate Your Time”

Sonali The Endless River



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